Therapy Session #8

Therapy session number eight Still dodging the words I'm scared to say Smile when I should break down Laugh so I won't drown Told her, "Yeah, I'm doing okay" But my eyes said something else today She leaned in close and said my name Like she knew I'm not the same I built this mask so well it fits Even I forget what's under it But I'm tired of lying with a steady face Tired of winning in a losing race Tired of fixing what they break And carrying the guilt they make If this is healing, why's it hurt to breathe Why do the walls still talk to me I came here hoping I could change But all I've done is rearrange She asked me if I sleep at night I said, "Only when I lose the fight" Told her I write songs instead 'Cause paper listens better than my head I wish I could cry without flinching Wish I could feel without flinching Wish I could speak like I mean it Wish I believed when I said, "I'm healing" Yeah, I'm tired of hiding in a perfect shell Tired of lying just to look well Tired of fixing what they break Of cleaning up the mess they make If this is healing, why's it feel like grief Why do I fall when I find relief Maybe next week I'll be brave But this is where I had to start, today Therapy session number eight I didn't lie this time, that's a start, right